Sex is the elephant in the room that most people can’t stop thinking about but also which most of us have no good language to discuss. We hide it, or we flaunt it, and far too many learn from porn, which is so rarely a good teacher about good sex.

We owe it to ourselves to be better. We deserve the ability to talk about sex without hiding from it, to have clear and honest discussions of what we want—assuming those conversations are with partners who also want to have these discussions and not just women you happen to see on the internet—and find shameless ways to realize those desires.

Our guest this week is Dr. Nan Wise. Nan is a neuroscientist and sex therapist, and author of the book “Why Good Sex Matters.” It’s such an important discussion, but be aware that it does contain frank conversation about sex and sexual trauma, and listeners should use their own discretion. Additionally, this episode focuses on sex and sexual pleasure and as such does not specifically discuss asexuality. We see, support and acknowledge our Ace listeners. To learn more about Asexuality, visit the Trevor Project.